Scotland - Fisticuffs broke out today among the audience at Scotland's premier pageant of performing international military bands and display teams.
Spectators from the Royal Army Medical Corpse (sic) at the annual Edinburgh Military Tattoo took exception to a troupe of Royal Navy graffiti atristes dancing in a formation that spelled out the words 'Do Not Resuscitate'.
Police were called in to break up the brawl which some think started about an imaginary slur on Her Majesty.
As the bruised and battered fighters were being lead away from Edinburgh Castle esplanade a sudden gust of wind blew open the Queen's blouse revealing the existence of the suspected NHS heart failure instructions, complete with official barcode to access her medical records.
Apparently it was inscribed with indelible ink circa May 2010 when the Tories got in to bed with the Glib Dems following a hung general election result.
"Philip's had one on his arse since the fall of Suez," Brigadier Sir Monty Dambuster CEO GCHQ BLA BLA BLA commented today.
Tossing the Caper is set to become an Olympic sport for Scottish sous-chefs.
