Written by Rebel Not Taken

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

image for England Cricketer gave woman multiple orgasms
Fanny Old.

The contents of a private diary bought at a boot sale in Yorkshire provide further evidence that Test Cricket can be a huge aphrodisiac.

The journals of Fanny Old, Vice President of the Eccles Women's Institute, record in graphic detail her sexual 'feelings' for former England opening batsman Geoffrey Boycott.

The diaries, dating back to 1964, have become an overnight Internet sensation and are about to be published by Virago Press.

Miss Old, 69, who still works at the Ministry of Pensions and National Insurance in Pontefract, revealed how she first became infatuated with Boycott:

"The 8th and 9th of June in 1967 was when it all started. Geoffrey scored 246 Not Out against India. He was in complete control.

"I just wanted him to go on and on and on. He occupied the crease for hours".

Fanny Old admits she planned her annual holidays to coincide with the Headingly Test Match:

"The conditions at Leeds were perfect for Geoffrey. The wicket was always damp from early doors. As he played himself in and nudged the ball around i got increasingly damp too ".

Miss Old confessed that watching Boycott bat and bowl used to "drive her to the brink":

"Sometimes the feelings would last the whole five days. Lunch and tea breaks gave me a chance to rest. I needed an Eccles cake to fortify myself for the next climax".

Fanny also wrote tenderly about her desire to get to grips with Boycott's buttocks:
"They were meatier than a Barnsley Lamb Chop".

Fanny "took part" in 108 Test Matches during Geoffrey Boycott's career from 1964 to 1982.
She proudly claims to have "felt every short single and boundary as only a woman can".

But Fanny Old's 'giving herself' to Geoffrey Boycott has rubbed other Test Match ladies up the wrong way.

Doris Trellis, from Dorking, who admits to "touching myself downstairs" every time Lord Ted Dexter executed an imperious Cover Drive, has taken umbrage with Fanny Old's eroticising of Boycott:

"Geoffrey Boycott didn't 'do it' for me. He ground out his runs too slowly. Lord Ted, on the other hand, scored quickly and always left me wanting more. He knew how to treat a woman".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Cricket, orgasm

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