Written by Katarina Frogpond2

Saturday, 28 May 2011

image for Love Rat Manchester United Football Player Dropped By Meerkat Sponsors
Meerkats Like Respectable Role Models for Meerkat Pups

The company behind a successful advertising campaign has discontinued a sponsorship deal worth millions of pound with a prominent Manchester United player.

The deal was believed to have been made with the United player at a time when his image, on and off the pitch, was believed to be squeaky clean. But now the player has been involved in an embarrassing scandal, the company no longer wishes to be associated with him.

The owner of the Meerkat company, who we can only name as Alexandr for legal reasons, says the company could no longer work with the footballer because his lifestyle did not represent the Meerkat Ideal, anymore.

"He was no longer a good role model for Meerkat pups." A friend of Alexandr's is rumoured to have said. "Here at the Respectable Meerkat Business Corporation, we like our pups to follow people who believe in good family values. Not embarrassing people who have flirty affairs with girls who sell their frivolous life stories to magazines for money"

Alex Ferguson was not asked for his opinion because he's a very angry man. But sources close to the shouty manager have recently disclosed that he is not a fan of the Meerkat.

He is believed to be the proud owner of a Meerkat Carpet, and he is said to have served up Meerkat Kebabs at every barbecue he has ever had in his garden.

Alexandr was horrified by this news and he is believed to have said. "I have just this instant become a Barcelona fan. I hope they beat Manchester United 25-0...and I hope Manchester United's football pitch gets poo'd on by pidgeons. And I hope their car park gets flooded and..."

...the rest of his tirade was quite shocking. It went on for three hours and the rest is unprintable. He got so angry he had to be sedated. That's how angry Meerkat Carpet owners make Alexandr.

So, if you want to make Alexandr happy again, keep protesting against the Meerkat Kebab. And if you are going to a football match tonight please remember to chant: "Ban The Meerkat Kebab. Ban the Meerkat Kebab"

By Katarina Frogpond.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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