As rumours surface that Shakira and Imogen Thomas will be supporting Barcelona in Saturday's Champions League Final, with the whole hearted endorsement of Barca coach, Pep Guardiola, Brit icons, Pippa Middleton (of Pippawatch fame) Victoria Beckham, Coleen Rooney and pneumatically enhanced page three legend, Katie Price, have announced that they will respond in kind.
The prestigious British quartet are expected to be wearing Manchester United replica shirts for the event, and are rumoured to have requested that the glass be removed from the front of their executive box in order to allow them to lean out, taunting Shakira, Imogen Thomas, and Pep Guardiola with chants of:
"Who are ya!"
Barcelona officials, reputedly the most sanctimonious in world football, are reportedly horrified that their sacred cow could be torn asunder under a verbal onslaught from British female Manchester United supporters.
Former Radio One DJ, Zoe Ball, has indicated that she might be up for a bit of Barca baiting, being a lifelong Manchester United fan from Woking. She apparently indicated that singing:
"You're so shit it's unbelievable!" might indeed be a jolly jape.
Even Dani Behr, a former Ryan Giggs fan, conceded:
"It will be a serious giggle to sing 'You can stick Sagrada Familia up your arse!' - Yah. I'm up for that. Providing it doesn't include burgers."
Welsh C4 Big Brother starlet, Imogen Thomas admits that she's having second thoughts about showing up for the game wearing a replica Barca shirt.
"People might get the wrong idea about me," she reasoned. "But I can market a story with the best of them."
Reports that PM David Cameron has requested that the Salford MIB's (Men In Black - ask Roma) police the game have been refuted.
"Let's be perfectly clear about this," he said in Parliament. "Our national image has taken a bit of a battering lately. Loutish behaviour from Manchester United supporting WAGS and ex-WAGS. We don't want them dodgy buggers having anything to do with the showcase final. That Obama bloke talks about 'special relationships' and then his people can wor Cheryl. Two-faced bastards!"
Former PM, Gordon Brown, remarked:
"Where were you in Rotterdam?"
This one looks like it'll run and run...
Like diahrroeah...
More as we get it.
