Anfield Revival Still On Track Despite Tottenham Defeat Says King Kenny

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 15 May 2011

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Pepe Reina - He's Off

Kenny Dalglish was last night insisting that his Anfield revival is still very much on track, despite the Reds going down 2-0 at Anfield to Tottenham Hotspur.

A cracking first half volley from Rafa Van Der Vaart, and a second half penalty conversion from Luka Modric secured the points for the Londoners, whilst Suarez was lucky to escape a red card for kicking Dawson as he sat on the turf in the aftermath of a tackle. Suarez insisted that it was merely a "love-tap," designed to prompt the Spurs defender to get up and get on with it.

One source was of the opinion that Suarez was a lucky boy to escape with a yellow card, because if Dawson had got to his feet a bit quicker, he would have "knocked Suarez's fucking block off."

All of which left many of the Kop faithful wondering if the return of King Kenny is just another false dawn, and whether the club faces further years of stunning mediocrity.

King Kenny was upbeat though, insisting that £32 million striker, Andy Carroll had simply had an off day, and that he was a bit rusty after his recent injury. He also stated that Dirk Kuyt has promised to be as industrious and ineffective next season as he has been this.

"We'll be challenging next season right enough. We'll probably no qualify fae the Europa League, so that's European fitba oot the windy, but ma mission statement is tae knock Man United aff their fuckin' perch. And why no? It worked fae Fergie, and he's the master. We'll be dain' things the Man United way in future. The fans'll love it."

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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