Rangers Deny Sectarian Claims

Funny story written by grimbo

Thursday, 7 April 2011

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Rangers chief executive Martin Bain has reacted strongly to UEFA's charge that the club's fans participated in sectarian singing during last month's fixture against PSV Eindhoven.

Bain vehemently denies that any such chanting went on and has moved quickly to clarify some of the "unacceptable" songs that are referred to in the charge.

"Contrary to popular opinion, the Rangers song most often described as sectarian is nothing of the sort. While certain individuals may think the fans are singing 'The Sash My Father Wore' (which commemorates the victory of King William ll1 in the Williamite War in Ireland from 1690/91), it is actually nothing of the sort.

The Ibrox faithful are actually singing 'The Tash My Father Wore', which refers to the long handlebar moustaches that were popular at the start of the 20th century and were sported by most footballers of that age".

When pressed to explain away the Rangers fans singing 'Up To Our Knees In Fenian Blood', Bain replied that the words are in fact 'Up To Our Knees In Kenyan Mud', referring to the recent humanitarian efforts of the many Govanites who have been spending their summer holidays helping to build schools and community centres in the poorer suburbs of Nairobi.

Its open to question whether the UEFA disciplinary hearing will take a sympathetic view of the Ibrox's club position.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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