Mancini surprise at goal yield of every over paid misfit behind the ball philosophy

Funny story written by Deafo

Monday, 4 April 2011

image for Mancini surprise at goal yield of every over paid misfit behind the ball philosophy
The Man City subs bench

Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has admitted his teams 'surprise' five goal yield against Sunderland had given him all the encouragement to continue implementing his 'every over-paid misfit behind the ball' footballing philosophy.

City fans had become tired of the Italians penchant for sending out his team bristling with all the attacking intent of a squad of narcoleptics with supporters said to be beginning to display the same symptoms during matches.

Mancini played down talk of a change in strategy saying the attacking intent displayed must have come from a communication breakdown between himself and his band of multi-national cash receptacles.

He told reporters during his teams post match press conference, ''I am just as surprised as you are that my boring defensive team instructions should have translated into such a tub thumping performance of flare and skill.'

'This just goes to show one of two things. Either my tactics are so spot on, that all the criticism everyone chucks my way is unmerited, or that my squad of players showed their displeasure at my tactics by not listening to a single word I said before the game.'

'I think its the latter.'

'So next week I'll be asking them to play rush goalie in the hope that this can be misinterpreted back into the kind of hum drum defensive performance that has become the hallmark of my time in England.'

Mancini went on to deny he was responding to pressure exerted by the clubs owner Sheikh Mansour to play more expansive football.

'No, this is rubbish.'

'I had talks with him, but I talked behind a row of eight of my representatives in two banks of four, so I what he was saying wasn't so clear.'

'I think I heard 'expensive' football.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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