Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 10 March 2011

image for Cheltenham racecourse installs anti-taser shield amid Gold Cup race knobbling fears
Was Kauto Star's King George defeat deliberate stun gun knobbling?

Gloucestershire - Fears of a stun gun attack on next Friday's Cheltenham Gold Cup have prompted decisive action by Prestbury Park stewards.

A secretive rental agreement with the USA's Belmont Park has seen Cheltenham racecourse authorities install a highly controversial $20 million anti-taser device.

The signal jammer has been used successfully in the States where attempts to foil Triple Crown runners are a regular occurence.

Its presence at UK jump racing's prestigeous annual Blue Ribband meet will hopefully allay some serious race knobbling fears.

Last month connections of top-rated Gold Cup contenders Kauto Star, Imperial Commander and Denman lobbied hard for the device installation.

In particular Kauto Star's dismal flop in January's rescheduled King George prompted a devastating rumor mill that he'd been targetted by an electronic stun gun gang.

Post-race tests showed singed hairs around Kauto Star's mane may have come from a taser attack somewhere close to the racecourse's 20th fence.

Online spreadbetting bookies Aintgottaprayer.con have revised their Gold Cup odds following test results on the electronic signal blocker, making Irish hopeful Weird Al their 4/1 joint favorite along with Punchestowns.

Runners Carruthers, Alberta's Run and Neptune Collonges may now be tested for equine shampoo static build-up.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Horse Racing, Taser

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