Toronto Cop Pleads Guilty After Threatening to Taser Suspect's Nuts

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Thursday, 10 February 2011

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A Toronto police officer is expected to be sentence to daily rape and beatings, after pleading guilty to Threatening Bodily Harm after telling a handcuffed suspect that he would taser him in an uncomfortable place.

They're not...
...all gems, everyone. Sorry.

"The back of a Volkswagen?" asked Toronto Judge Jean-Paul Doright.

The most damning testimony came from the Constable's own cruiser-cam. In the video, a portly suspect is seen handcuffed, lying down on the back seat, with the Constable holding a taser to his neck, Gangsta-style.

After being asked where his alleged accomplices were, the Constable was heard to say, "If you don't tell me, "I'm going to taser you in the nuts."

The Constable initially stated that he was referring to the bag of trail mix in the suspect's pocket, but has since recanted.

When the Court asked for an explanation, the Constable replied, "I don't know. I have no idea. I guess they think 'Constable' sounds better than 'Pseudo-cop' or 'Mooserapist with a Badge. Other than that, I have no idea."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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