Written by Skoob1999

Friday, 25 February 2011

image for Old Trafford Skip Mystery Deepens
Not quite a skip, but pretty similar.

The city of Manchester rumour mill clicked into overdrive today after it was revealed that an empty skip has been discovered behind the Stretford End of Manchester United's famous Old Trafford stadium.

Curious journalists bombarded the club's switchboard with calls requesting that the purpose of the skip be revealed. However, club officials remained tight lipped, although they did confirm that the skip has nothing to do with the club, and that a thorough internal investigation will be conducted.

Needless to say, such an ambiguous response served only to heighten press speculation that perhaps the skip had been hired as part of a scheme by Sir Alex Ferguson to offload a number of players who have become surplus to requirements.

Among those suspected of being for the Old Trafford chop were Bebe, Michael Carrick, and Michael Owen, but it should be stressed here that this remains purely a matter of press speculation, and has been vigorously denied by the club.

A passing Manchester City fan joked that the skip had probably been ordered by Wayne Rooney so that he can practice shagging grannies against it. Rooney's agent reacted angrily at such an outrageous suggestion.

Meanwhile, the Old Trafford skip mystery merely deepens and the outrageous speculation continues.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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