Just in - Greater Manchester Police today possibly revealed that Manchester United's Bulgarian striker Dimitar Berbatov was probably arrested as he left Old Trafford following the clash between North-West football giants Manchester United and Liverpool.
Berbatov, who scored all three goals in a stunning 3-2 victory for United over their arch rivals was probably arrested by police sergeant Derek Bastard, possibly punched in the face and thrown unceremoniously into a police van.
Suspected of identity theft.
Sergeant Bastard told Skoob Sports News:
"Blatant identity theft. That second goal he scored, from a Nani cross and with a touch from Rooney, when the Bulgarian bloke knocked the ball up off his thigh and performed an acrobatic overhead kick leaving Reina rooted to the spot, at the Stretford End! Bastard's obviously trying to nick Denis Law's identity. Fucking Roma gypo. I'm not having it. So I banged the bugger up."
Before we could obtain further comment from Sergeant Bastard, he sprinted off and started fighting with a plank in a nearby builder's yard. Last time we looked, he was wrestling the plank to the ground and trying to incapacitate it with a series of head butts.
The plank appeared to be unharmed and seemed to be holding its own.
More as we get it.
