United Fans Unusually Quiet Following 3-2 Win Over Liverpool

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 19 September 2010

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Hat Trick Hero In A Hat

Things were surprisingly quiet last night in Manchester after Manchester United chalked up a 3-2 victory over local rivals Liverpool.

The expected euphoric and riotous outpourings of unbridled joy failed to materialise, as reports came in that Deansgate, Oxford Road, Piccadilly, Canal Street and nearby Regent Road in Salford all appeared to be pretty much in a 'business as usual' type mode.

We spoke to SSN consultant Jarbo the Killer in The Dog And Partridge pub on Chester Road, a stone's throw away from Old Trafford.

"Tight game," he told us. "I think most United fans are just relieved we got the result, especially after the late collapses at Everton and Fulham. Do I hate Liverpool? Of course I do. Goes without saying. But only on match days. And fair play to 'em - they gave it a go, and didn't park ten men behind the ball throughout the game like some do. Great hat trick by Berbatov, but I bet Stevie Gerrard feels a right twat now for kissing the Sky cameras when he scored his second."

There were reports of trouble between rival Manchester United and Liverpool supporters as fans clashed in Hastings, Milton Keynes, Bromley, Taunton, Blandford Forum, Karachi, Singapore, Toronto and Alice Springs.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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