The Dallas Cowboys Lose To The Washington Redskins 13-7: Jerry Jones Blames Kim Kardashian

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 13 September 2010

image for The Dallas Cowboys Lose To The Washington Redskins 13-7: Jerry Jones Blames Kim Kardashian
This is the football that Miles Austin caught for a touchdown and which he gave to his girlfriend Kim Kardashian.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Dallas Cowboys who are favored by many sports writers to go to the Super Bowl were beaten in their season opener by The Washington Redskins 13-7.

The NFL's leading 'penalty getter' is Alex Barron, and unfortunately for Dallas he is on the Cowboys team. Last year many tought that Cowboy Flozell Adams was the NFL leader in penalities but Flo, who was given his 'go home' ticket last year, was actually number two in penalites.

Both Adams and Barron spend a lot of their playing time doing illegal stuff like holding, being offside, and over-eating.

In fact, one of the pretty Redskin cheerleaders Minnie "Titsy" De La Croissant, asked one of the sports reporters from Dallas, after Barron had committed his seventh holding penality, if Barron is kinda gay or what.

The reporter laughed and replied that the way Alex is holding the Redskin players all over the friggin place it would certainly not surprise him.

After the game Dallas quarterback Tony Romo was asked what he felt caused them to lose. He shrugged his shoulders and looked around. He said that he has no idea but that he does know that he broke up with Jessica Simpson last year.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones just happened to over hear Romo and he chimed in. "I'll tell ya why we lost. We lost cause of that Kardashian woman. Goodness me. We get rid of one jinx, Jessica Simpson and goah darnit if we don't go and pick up another one."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Cowboys receiver Miles Austin is dating Kim Kardashian. He had a very good day. He had 10 receptions for 146 yards and one touchdown. And after the game he made several more touchdowns in his and Kim's hotel suite.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more