Formula 1 "Team Orders Rule" to be Americanised

Written by Whitters

Thursday, 9 September 2010

image for Formula 1 "Team Orders Rule" to be Americanised

Milton Keynes: A hastily arranged meeting held at the Red Bull Conference facilities in the land of Horizontal and Vertical roads has developed new rules proposed by the FIA for the 2012 Formula 1 season.

According to sources at meeting secretly arranged between the F1 teams via their Facebook profiles; executives all off the participating teams have come away with a copy of the hammered out proposals suggesting that new grid wide screens will be mounted over the track and teams will be permitted to use it to display secret coded messages in a similar way to American Baseball pitchers.

Red Bull representative Gimme Wings was cornered by our reporter in the toilet before he could consume a can of the magical drink and he has this information for us:

"Well Ferrari suggested that they could use a complex code of gestures to drivers to get the message across. Apparently they cold employ someone to touch their cap once if they want you to do something, twice if they don't and then the order, such as 'let him pass' being a grab of the crotch or 'pit and retire' being a single fingered gesture."

Bernie Ecclestone, who presided over the meeting by videophone from his post-intercourse bed was all for the new idea, but suggested that smaller teams such as Team India should be permitted to continue to use the radio based system for team orders as they are generally being lapped on the start finish line which wuld mean that the leaders team orders should be given priority.

Mr Ecclestones PA commented from the post-intercourse bed: "No comment".

It is hoped that a decision can be reached by the end of October.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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