Sucidal Schumi returns to Formula 1 and declares "I want to die happy!"

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 23 December 2009

image for Sucidal Schumi returns to Formula 1 and declares "I want to die happy!"
"Schumi" has changed colours but wants to really go out with a BIG BANG!

The spectacular news that Michael Schumacher is returning to F1 racing has shaken the sport by its foundations.

"Schumi" 41 years old is a veteran and needs a Zimmerframe to hoist him into the car, but he is convinced he will win again and fulfill his main wish in life to die happily!

Michael has been totally deflated and unhappy since he retired from the sport.

Mercedes offered him a ride and he has promised the sparks will fly once he's up the backside (he's not Gay by the way) of Lewis Hamilton, Jason Button and those other pretenders to his crown.

He has actually got one clause in his contract with Mercedes which, has astonished the racing world: If he crashes his car and is nearly dead, they must leave him to die!!!!!!!!!!

Michael, is a normal happy lad (but is German after all!) and is "dying" to experience the ultimate KICK, dying behind the wheel of a F1 car!

Mercedes have agreed to the clause but have refused to insure "Schumi" because they fear after kicking the butts of the younger "Rookies" he might actually fulfill his dream.

F1 circuits have built rubber safety barriers around bridges, crash barriers, etc, but you never know with "Schumi" he's so exact he might just find that tiny GAP!

By the way, they have insured the car!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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