Royal Bafokeng Stadium, Rustenberg Saturday 12th June 2010: With their heads in the clouds and Fabio Capello reeling off Tommy Cooper jokes about how England could win the World Cup and then putting Robert Green in goal, Englands hopes were very high. Adding to the hysteria Alan Smith gave a rallying call, "Seize the day Wayne and win over the World!"
I had been imbedded into the World Cup England footballing set up for weeks and as an on the spot reporter in this 2010 World Cup combat, there was no doubt in the camp that England were going to be crowned winners of the 2010 World Cup. The positive energy was high as a kite!
Tommy Cooper's plans for the game had been hampered by Gareth Barry's injury troubles, meaning the Capello is fielded a central midfield pairing of Steven Gerrard, his third captain in four months, and Frank Lampard. With England being without Gareth Barry through injury for their opening game, it meant that Ledley King replaced Rio Ferdinand, ruled out of the tournament with a knee injury.
Tommy Cooper's inspirational tactical team talk before the USA match was a joy to behold;
"Remember New Kids on the Block? Ever had to sit through any of the following: Hook, Rockies III to V, Bonfire of the Vanities, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Knots Landing or How I Met Your Mother? Ever typed the word 'colour' only to find a red wavy line appearing under it? Remember Suez? Lexington? Oklahoma!? Ever had someone call you 'dude'? Did you lose your job in the recession?"
To all these questions the England players shouted out "Yes!" increasingly louder.
Tommy Cooper gave out the punch; "This is the night when you, England get your own back. We are 90 minutes away from England against the USA in the 2010 World Cup. Forget the popcorn, prematch food for all patriotic Englishman, eat those pork pies."
Over cups of tea we laughed out loud in the England dugout during the singing of the English and USA National Anthems, at the Tommy Capello-Cooper motivation tool, that is stuck up around the dugout;
"Tommy Cooper was introduced to the Queen after a Royal Command Performance.
- 'Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?' said Tommy.
'No, ..." said the Queen, '....but I might not be able to give you a full answer.'
'Do you like football?' said Tommy.
'Well not really ' said the Queen.'
'In that case, ...' said Tommy, '....do you mind if I have your Cup Final Tickets?'
Fabio Capello has that on his wall at home, in his office in all the England toilets too!!
Carlos Simon the match official blew his whistle and England's World Cup victory is away. In the third minute, Captain Gerrard gives England a perfect start. Gerrard slots it home coolly with the outside of his right foot. Lampard was looking for Rooney, but his pass overran for Heskey, who slipped it back inside for the run of Gerrard. One touch to control, one touch to make those Americans wish they'd stuck to Nascar. England 1-0 USA (Gerrard) The World Cup victory is nearly there!!
Tommy Cooper's reaction was to crackanother joke;
- "The largest collection of chavs that the world has ever seen, will be in the pubs in England watching adverts on ITV when that goal went in!"
Ten minutes before half time Tommy Cooper shouts out another wise crack;
- "This match is getting too easy for England, it is about high time Robert Green's hands became butter fingers and we let in a goal!"
Everybody in the England dugout burst out laughing at Tommy Coopers joke, at the same moment on the pitch, USA's Dempsey turns, spins, and tries a speculative shot from 25 yards, straight at Green, and the pressure simply got to Norwich's number three. Squirming out of his hands, Green made a desperate grab behind him, but too late.
Tommy Cooper shouted out another joke;
- "That howler by Rob Green, England won't recover from this terrible shock, the last 50 minutes of the match might as well not be played!"
At half time the England team talk gave to the squad was to get the players ring up their personal bookmakers and get some money on an England 1-1 draw.
Tommy Cooper at the press conference afterwards; "We create chances to score goal, but they shoot once to the goal and keeper make mistake. This football. We are in good moment, we will do better - only the result is no good. Everything positive - only the result is not positive."
Tommy Cooper to players after the match;
- "If you go to a Bookmaker at half time, he say 'Hey Hey USA'. I say, 'Give us a 1-1 draw!' Make Hey Hey, when the sun shines!"
That is why Tommy Cooper is a genius with the England players!
