Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

image for England Ranked 13th In FIFA World Cup Rankings
English football - getting better and better

The England football team may not have won the World Cup in South Africa, but their progression into the second stage of the tournament has lifted them into a lofty 13th place in the FIFA World Cup rankings, and coach Fabio Capello says the team deserves "enormous credit".

The overall FIFA world rankings show England an incredible 7th position.

The Three Lions put up several impressive displays before eventually succumbing 4-1 to Germany in a closely-fought second-round encounter. Other gripping performances included the 1-1 draw with the USA, and a scoreless draw with African giants, Algeria, before the icing on England's World Cup cake, a 1-0 thrashing of Slovenia.

Today, after the new rankings were published, coach Capello told journalists at the FA's Lancaster Gate headquarters:

"OK, we not win World Cup, but we play good football. Except Wayne Rooney. And John Terry. And Steve Gerrard. And Frank Lampard. And Robert Green. And Matthew Upson. And Emile Heskey. And Gareth Barry. And Joe Cole. And Ashley Cole. And so on."

The success of the team was always a talking point for fans, and many were in celebratory mood when England's 13th-place ranking was announced. One of those fans who made the trip to South Africa - a trip that cost him nearly £7,000 - was Dennis Numpty, 43, from Essex. He said:

"I'll never go to an England game again. A complete waste of cash."

The entire FIFA World Cup rankings are reproduced below, but, whatever you feel about them, it's important to reflect for a moment on the fact that England are still nine places ahead of New Zealand.

Fifa 2010 World Cup standings:

1 Spain, 2 Netherlands, 3 Germany, 4 Uruguay, 5 Argentina, 6 Brazil, 7 Ghana, 8 Paraguay, 9 Japan, 10 Chile, 11 Portugal, 12 United States, 13 England, 14 Mexico, 15 South Korea, 16 Slovakia, 17 Ivory Coast, 18 Slovenia, 19 Switzerland, 20 South Africa, 21 Australia, 22 New Zealand, 23 Serbia, 24 Denmark, 25 Greece, 26 Italy, 27 Nigeria, 28 Algeria, 29 France, 30 Honduras, 31 Cameroon, 32 North Korea

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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