Bury FC sign 'Raul'

Funny story written by Dale Dolittle

Monday, 12 July 2010


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Raoul in his happier days

Bury FC officials were left red faced this morning after a believed transfer coop for the Spanish striker Raul turned out to be a scam by a rogue football agent, and they had mistakenly signed Raoul Moat, the now dead Rambo style gunman, who has being rampaging through the Northumberland countryside.

Club spokesman Gordon Sorfleet, explains the story, 'We were contacted by what we thought was Raul's, agent on Thursday of last week, and his 'agent' said he would be very keen to move to Bury. Of course we were interested and not to alert other clubs, we hurried through his registration to become a Shaker'.

Unfortunately the Geordie agent had neglected to tell the interested club of his surname and the bumbling Bury office staff overlooked Raoul's surname, and pushed through the large 'signing on' fee over the weekend.

'It was only when we watched the news over the weekend that it dawned on us that we may have been conned. No wonder Raoul wanted a move to Bury, he needed to escape the police. Raul and Raoul?, a Geordie agent? , who suspiciously sounded like Paul Gasgoigne' and then Gazza turned up p*****, talking about chicken, lager and fishing rods. He was out b***** celebrating' snapped the Bury Press Officer.

Despite this Bury FC wish to push through the transfer as apparently Mr Moat was quite an established centre back, and although dead and smelling quite bad now ,is, 'Better than that b****y Sodje' a 'rat like' looking club official told us.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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