Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Thinks It Was John Terry Who Popped Her Cherry

Friday, 26 February 2010

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Ivana Phuque with her long, blonde hair

Pharmacists around the world admit that sales of Viagra have been down ever since Swedish Olympic Sensation Ivana Phuque begin captivating crowds at the Vancouver Winter Games. The blonde bombshell, who performs braless in her tight, white lycra top and pantyless under her short, little skirt has set the blood to pumping for billions of men around the world.

Ivana Phuque, however, insists that up until a few years ago, she was still a virgin.

"The spy photographers and the tabloids have it wrong. It wasn't a wife or girlfriend or WAG with English footballer John Terry, it was me. John Terry popped my cherry."

"I first approached him when they were in Stockholm for a World Cup match against the Swedish team to get his autograph. He asked me my name, and I answered that it was Ivana Phuque. This seemed to turn him on and he took me, right outside of the locker room on a pile of dirty shower towels."

"Ever since then, my appetite for men has been insatiable. Now, where's Tiger Woods? I understand that he likes Nordic blonde types."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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