Everybody's favourite Scottish curmudgeon, Andy Murray, lost in five sets to some Spanish bloke nobody cares about, after having produced a superb fightback in the Australian Open first round. In what might or might not have been his final match,...
Following his recent back to back wins at the China Open & Shanghai Masters, a desperate and exhausted looking Andy Murray has seized the opportunity to strike from all Tennis & Fatherly duties for 48 hours. He is protesting about the incr...
Dunblane, Scotland - Dozens of bubble-wrapped bushes of the Toxicodendron radicans genus have been installed at the Scottish cathedral where tennis pro Andy Murray is marrying Kim 'Jong-Un' Sears today. In a nod to William and Kate's own shrubby 2...
Still riding high off the aftermath of his #indyref tweet, Andy Murray has voted himself in as the new SNP leader, despite having left Scotland nearly a decade ago. With the old leader Alex Salmond mysteriously missing from the party, speculation...
Everyone was getting ill at Wimbledon. During a doubles match, the chair umpire asked Serena Williams whether she required a doctor on court, as she was having a problem holding a ball during a game partnered with her sister Venus. Serena eventually...
Samantha 'Stiff neck, prominent jaw line, unflinching eyes and mechanical mouth' Jones has caused surprise and uproar today after she was spotted showing what appeared to be some kind of human emotion. After hearing about Tennis player Andy Murr...
Charismatic Scotchman, Andy Moray has won the coveted Steve Davis "Mr. Personality" award. The Ceremony took place in Leeds but Mr. Moray was committed to doing things in Miami. "Thanks to the people who could be arsed to turn up. I didn't know I...
Wimbledon champion, Andy Murray will have a new name when next Summer's tennis comes to SW19. The dunblane born player will change his name by deed poll to become Andy Murray's-deep-fried-Mars-bars for the duration of the tournament. This move...
British number 1 tennis player Andy Murray has announced plans to marry Fred Perry's daughter Penny in a ceremony at Wimbledon's Centre Court next month. Murray became the first Briton in 77 years to win the Mens Singles championship at Wimbledon...
Alex Salmond has announced that Scottish independence has been put on hold until such time that Andy Murray has received a knighthood for doing his job better than anybody else. "If Scotland seceded from the Union before the honours list," said Sa...
London - An astrological roller coaster weekend of terrible disasters has been triggered by the Moon/Mars conjunction in the sign of Cancer just hours ahead of Sunday's Wimbledon Men's Finals where Brit No 1 hope Andy Murray's makes his championship...
Aftr a brilliant performance ending in a magnificent win for super-Scot, Andy Murray, at the US open, Britain have decide to adopt him, but Andy doesn't want to be a Brit because he's Scottish. Greg Rusedzki also represented Britain at tennis, but...
The late finale of the US Open Tennis Final caused confusion in British media last night when the 2.10am finish caused tired reporters stuck on auto-pilot from the Parylympic coverage and Athletes parade to churn out the wrong facts. The Stun news...
Newly crowned US Open tennis champion Andy Murray last night thanked his coach, former 80s tennis star Ivan Lendl for his winning streak which saw Murray pick up a Gold medal for beating Roger Federer in the Olympic Tennis at Wimbledon, and today his...
Multiple track cycling medallist Victoria Pendleton has made a shock U-turn on her retirement from Olympic action, as it has been revealed that she is set to team up with men's tennis gold medallist Andy Murray in Brazil in 2016. The pair are set to...
London - A repeat performance of this year's Wimbledon Men's Finals pitches the desperate Scots wannabe against the ball-crushing maestro of Grand Slam supremacy. "Yeah, he'll get his ass kicked in two straight sets," Rafael Nadal's tarot card rea...
The pressures of competition have become so great on today's professional tennis tours that the players just can't take it any more. Following an explosion of crying by top players over the last 2 weeks in the latest Grand Slam tennis tournament,...
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