Written by queen mudder

Friday, 29 January 2010

image for Vanessa Perroncel = Porn Ass Relevance Says Mrs John Terry
Ms 'Seven Carnal Pores'

London - (Offside Rule): Toni Poole has hit out at the sordid sex revelations about her lying, cheating footballer husband John Terry and French actress Vanessa Perroncel.

The England captain's wife said she'd consulted a medium about her marriage and got some strange, encrypted messages.

"That anagrams ouija board was right," Toni admitted to friends today.

"It kept spelling out these coded phrases like 'seven carnal pores', 'Arsenal coven reps', 'anal corpse nerves' and my favorite 'proven anal recess!'

"Should've see it coming a mile off."

The couple are deep in matrimonial injury time this week as a High Court judge today overturned an earlier injunction by the footballer to gag the squalid revelations about his romps with Wayne Bridge's now ex-girlfriend.

A real shiner of a black eye has virtually healed but Terry's famous silver trophy for his 2008 Dad of the Year award is still looking rather tarnished.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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