Vanessa Perroncel = Porn Ass Relevance Says Mrs John Terry

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 29 January 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Vanessa Perroncel = Porn Ass Relevance Says Mrs John Terry
Ms 'Seven Carnal Pores'

London - (Offside Rule): Toni Poole has hit out at the sordid sex revelations about her lying, cheating footballer husband John Terry and French actress Vanessa Perroncel.

The England captain's wife said she'd consulted a medium about her marriage and got some strange, encrypted messages.

"That anagrams ouija board was right," Toni admitted to friends today.

"It kept spelling out these coded phrases like 'seven carnal pores', 'Arsenal coven reps', 'anal corpse nerves' and my favorite 'proven anal recess!'

"Should've see it coming a mile off."

The couple are deep in matrimonial injury time this week as a High Court judge today overturned an earlier injunction by the footballer to gag the squalid revelations about his romps with Wayne Bridge's now ex-girlfriend.

A real shiner of a black eye has virtually healed but Terry's famous silver trophy for his 2008 Dad of the Year award is still looking rather tarnished.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more