Currant Football Headlines: Brazil Unveils Wonder Boy

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Sunday, 22 November 2009

image for Currant Football Headlines: Brazil Unveils Wonder Boy
Ribenaiho, fruity and full of flavour.

It is generally accepted that Brazil has the lion's share of outstanding football talent.

With Pele, Ronaldo (the original, not the Portugese Thai lady-boy) and Ronaldinho not to mention Robinho and the various newcomers to the scene, talent has never been a problem for the world class team.

Well they have surpassed themselves with the discovery of a new 15 year old legend in waiting.

Ribenaiho is so talented with a ball, he has been banned in the training camp from using a football.

The young talent learnt to ply his trade kicking blackcurrants around a football pitch in 2003.

"The boy is all natural, we don't add sugars or colours to his play, he's just one hundred percent fruity!" said Dungheap, Brazil's manager, in broken English.

"He is seriously concentrated on the world cup, we have to dilute his play with a lot of water during the game, otherwise he's just too strong for the opposition."

At 4 feet tall there is concern that he may be intimidated by the international's who come face to face with him, but Dungheap is quick to defend him, "Ribenaiho is no half pint, he measure's up to any tactic put against him. He has talent on tap, and a hell of a lot of bottle and he'll squash any defense."

Ribenaiho is certainly one to watch for the future if he stay's in form, Dungheap sum's it up, "if we lose him through injury we'll be in the drink. I have faith in our team, but this lad is one part flavour to their four parts water, if you know what I mean."

We do, Dungheap you mad Brazilian, we most certainly do.

Pure class in a glass.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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