After sacking their national soccer manager George Burley, Scotland have had enough of "Anglo-cised" managers constantly cocking it up.
The new search criteria is as follows:
1) He must be red-haired and have ginger freckles!
2) He must wear a kilt with the tartan of the Jacobite clan (True warriors and winners).
3) He must be able to booze, drink pure Scotch and never have been afflicted by that deadly disease "Anglo-cisism."
4) He must speak Scottish and not Sassenach.
5) He must lead the Tartan Army and their fans into victory first against their ancient enemy, England, then qualify for a major tournament and then win it!
This is the main criteria demanded by the Scottish FA, the task is nearly impossible but they have several candidates on their hit-list:
Super 5* Chef Gordon Ramsey (only problem, needs to dye his hair and FUCKS too much!)
Bonnie Prince Charlie (slight problem, he was a loser)
William Wallace (even bigger loser)
The hot favourite is Braveheart and Mel Gisbon has been duly contacted, Mel fits the criteria nearly perfectly, is as MAD as a MAX, loves getting pissed on Scotch, wears a kilt and is a born winner!
The Tartan Army can't wait!