Wayne Rooney Baby Speaks His First Words

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 6 November 2009

image for Wayne Rooney Baby Speaks His First Words
Like father, like ... erm

It's every parent's ultimate defining moment, and it was no different for Manchester United and England football star Wayne Rooney and his wife Coleen this week, when their new baby spoke his first word - "Erm".

The bouncing baby boy, who the Rooneys have called Kai (laughs) uttered his first hesitant, stuttering syllable as his famous Dad changed his shitty nappy on Thursday.

Indeed, there is some cause for thinking that baby Kai may already be showing signs of higher intelligence, as his ability to mimic his father's behaviour and speech patterns showed.

Rooney Snr told an excited media throng:


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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