It was announced today that F1 is more boring than reading the ingredients list on a Pot Noodle. Aficionados of the sport agreed, stating that the sport needs spicing up and whipping into shape.
"Who in their right mind wants to sit and watch the same twenty cars going around and around for hours when there are more interesting sports out there?" Said a very important spokesman.
When pressed what sports he was referring to, he became muted on the subject. It seems a mask of oppression has been placed on him by the strict governing body.
I spent several hours watching the latest Grand Prix only to come to the conclusion it was far more interesting than the last time I had watched it. Was this due to technical advances, more skilful drivers or a sexiness that has been injected into the sport like the high octane fuel on pit stops?
Unfortunately my camera man informed me we were actually at a Thurrock Services on the M25 and that yes, it is better than watching F1.
I asked Jensen Button, a cartoon character from the 1980's how he thought the sport could be made more interesting.
"Maybe we could use pedal cars, or use our feet like The Ant Hill Mob in Wacky Races. Remember them?" He chuckled before wiping his arse with a wad of £50 notes.
So is Formula One dying out, is it less interesting than Shredded Wheat or are we too obsessed with fun in this country?