Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 10 August 2009

image for Norwich City Can Still Go Up, Says Bryan Gunn
Sign here, you dolt!

The record books flew out of the window at Carrow Road on Saturday as Norwich City, the team who graced the European football stage as recently as 17 short years ago, were handed a lesson in exquisite finishing by visitors, Colchester United, who trounced their hosts 7-1.

It was the heaviest home defeat in the Canaries' 107-year history, and the first time ever that two supporters had run onto the pitch and thrown their season tickets at the team manager within 22 minutes of the start of a new footballing campaign.

It was also the first time in their history that Norwich had fallen behind to a 5-0 halftime reverse, and a record number of their supporters sang the old familiar Norwich City anthem "What a load of rubbish!"

Despite this, Canaries boss, Bryan Gunn told fans:

"We can still go up."

Gunn was speechless by the end of the game, and may be jobless by the end of the week.

Several fans encroached onto the playing surface and headed straight towards the dug-out where Gunn was sitting with his head in his hands. One politely handed him a piece of paper on which was written a resignation letter, purportedly written by Gunn himself, which the fan then asked him to sign. Gunn refused, saying there was still time for a Norwich fightback, but by the time the 5th goal went in after 38 minutes, the beleaguered Scot admitted the comeback was, at best, "unlikely".

Gunn is the popular ex-Norwich goalkeeper who was so much loved by the Carrow Road fans, that they rarely booed him.

He was asked by TheSpoof.com's Ipswich-based writer, Midgetgems, for a comment, but we cannot publish his reply, as Midgetgems was too busy pissing his pants.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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