The Ashes "No Repeat Of 2005"

Funny story written by Earl Grey

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

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Australian captain Ricky Pointless has said that he does not expect a repeat of 2005. "In 2005 the cricket was excellent and everybody got excited and had a great time. That level of enthusiasm will not be around this time. Playing the first test in Cardiff will make sure of this."

Indeed, the England and Wales Cricket Board has failed to sell out on any day for the first test. This could lead to a rather dull atmosphere. In 2005 there was an air of expectancy and the build up was tense. This year cricket is not as popular. Some say that following England's epic victory in 2005 there were missed opportunities. Others argue that England are currently rubbish. Selector Geoff Miller disagrees. "Look, England have a great chance. By playing the first test at Cardiff we are playing to our strengths. Quiet, unassuming, a bit ashamed of itself, Cardiff is so English. I wanted to play tests at Kettering, Rochdale, Bridlington and the Isle of Sheppey."

Team news: England (from) KP Nuts, Freddie Flintstone, Paul Collywobbles, Munty Pantsare, Graham Duck, Maddie Prior, Andy Mouse, Alistair Crook, Bavi Ropara, Stuart Narrow, Jimmy Hairstyle, Ryan Bigbottom, Ian Bellend.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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