Cycling Star Arrested

Funny story written by Blanca Brava

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

MINNEAPOLIS - Cycling star Greg LeMond was arrested last night outside a national sporting goods retail chain, for allegedly trying to steal a number of expensive items.

A customer claims she saw LeMond stuffing an item up his left pant leg, she immediately told an employee at which point LeMond fled the store where two mall security guards stopped him in the parking lot.

LeMond was caught with an Accudart Dart Tune-Up Kit worth $9.99, a Sword Combat Kit for Nintendo Wii worth $29.99, a Digital Ranger Night Vision Unit valued at $399.99, and three Bell Self-Sealing Bicycle Inner Tubes worth $6.99 each.

Greg LeMond has been the target of media scrutiny since his days of cycling stardom. He blames the end of his glittering career on a hunting accident which caused him numerous health complications.

He has been accused of bitterness toward Lance Armstrong and outwardly admits he believes Mr. Armstrong cheated to win his seven Tour de France titles.

LeMond was arrested and taken to the police station where he was discovered wearing his 1986 tattered Maillot Jaune underneath his flannel shirt and was said to be mumbling incoherently: "I'm a victim of the economic crisis, what do you expect? I won the Tour first. I'm the golden boy. Me, me, me. I challenge Lance to beat Phelps, what so you think I can't. I dare you Lance, beat me in a box Lance, Phelps will win the Tour."

A court date is set for July 12th.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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