Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 16 August 2008

image for 2008 Olympic Cycling Chaos As Mens 4000m Keirin Won By Durney Bike
Beaten - the peloton

There was mayhem at the Laoshan Velodrome in Beijing today when, in the Olympic Mens Keirin cycling event, the riders were surprised by a shock breakaway by the Durney Bike, which sped away from the main field to take the gold medal.

The Durney Bike, a motorised scooter driven by an old guy, is used to regulate and increase the pace of the peloton, and to veer off once optimum pace has been achieved, usually around 42kph.

In this race, however, the 83-year-old Chinese Durney rider, Mr Aow Ma Wei, broke with convention, and increased his own speed to more than 55kph with just three laps to go, something the other competitors just could not live with, and they were left in his wake.

Wei broke the world record by more than 22 seconds as he crossed the line at 127kph.

The gold is the first cycling medal ever won by China at an Olympic Games.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Olympics, China, Cycling

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