Written by Charles Letterman

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

image for Van Persie out!

Arsenal striker Robin Van Persie has been ruled out of Tuesday's Champions League quarter-final first leg against Villarreal due to a bizarre double booking.

At the same time that he was due to start the game in Spain, he had also agreed to help Mr and Mrs Chris Morton to move house. Mr Morton said, "We're only moving from Edmonton across North London to Wood Green, and we really haven't got much stuff, but we still couldn't do it without Robin."

The French striker advertises his 'Man with a van' service in local papers, and it is thought that the recession has meant that he has had to rely more and more on his second job, playing for Arsenal, to boost his income. Van Persie had told Mr Morton that he honoured their agreement to protect his professional reputation, and that 'fifty quid, cash in hand' would seal the deal.

It is though that another Arsenal favorite, CORGI registered Cesc Fabregas, managed to rearrange his appointment to fit a boiler, in favour of travelling to Spain for the match.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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