Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 2 April 2009

image for Alan Shearer Appoints Shrek As Assistant
Iain Shrek

Alan Shearer, the new Newcastle United manager, followed-up his sacking of cheeky chirpry Cockney chappy Dennis Wise yesterday, by today appointing his former Southampton striking partner, Shrek, as his assistant.

Shrek, 44, has had unsuccessful spells as a manager at all of the following clubs: Queens Park Rangers, Oldham Athletic, Crystal Palace, Charlton Athletic, Coventry City and Queens Park Rangers again - who obviously hadn't learnt their lesson the first time.

Speaking about Shrek, Shearer said:

"Shrek's an experienced manager and he will tell me if he thinks I'm getting it wrong. I felt it was important to bring him in, to give it a fresh look. A grotesque look."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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