Parcells Issues Apology for "Inappropriate References"

Funny story written by Bynocerus

Tuesday, 8 June 2004

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My ass stanks, huh Keyshawn?

IRVING, Texas (AP) -- Bill Parcells apologized Monday for several terms he used in discussing the Dallas Cowboy's minicamp. Parcells was describing some of the Cowboy's new plays when he made his remarks.

"On defense, when we want to keep the other team off balance, and I mean no disrespect to the Orientals, we have a few Jap plays. Okay, surprise things. By the same token, whenever we want to really disrupt our opponent's offense, we use our Kraut plays - our blitzes," Parcells said.

When asked if he had any other "special plays," Parcells responded, "Oh sure. Our kicking unit is known as the Frogs, because when they come on the field it means we're surrendering the ball."

Cowboys spokesman Rich Dalrymple apologized on behalf of the organization, and Parcells later issued a statement.

"Some may view my remarks as offensive or insensitive, but I did preface those remarks with 'no disrespect intended.' With that in mind, no disrespect intended, but Terry Glenn is still a bitch," Parcells said in his statement.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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