Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 15 October 2008


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image for Seve Ballesteros In Stable Condition After Operation
Oooo, he's going to need a lofted club to get it out of there, Peter!

Spanish golfing legend Seve Ballesteros is tonight said to be in a stable condition after undergoing an operation on his brain tumour.

Many of our readers in the UK and the US may consider it strange to have a man who has just been through such a serious and life-threatening procedure housed in a stable, but, in Spain, it is quite normal.

The Madrid hospital where he underwent the procedure said he was conscious and recovering well, and that there had been no complications.

Doctors operated today, to remove as much of the tumour as possible before the adverse weather closed in. Extreme conditions can make operations difficult, particularly on Scottish links courses, where the wind can play havoc with even an experienced player's ball.

It was first claimed the operation had taken 12 hours, but a later report said it was only 7. That's exaggeration for you! You often get that.

Ballesteros. who won the Open Championship three times, and the US Masters twice, was diagnosed with a brain tumour when he fainted at Madrid airport recently, leading to speculation that anyone who faints there, must be suffering from a brain tumour.

Air passengers are, therefore, advised to avoid including Madrid in their travel plans.

Doctor Hugo Angel-Jimenez, one of the medics who performed the operation, said:

"He's out of danger, so we put him in the stable. We got rid of all the donkeys, and I personally put down fresh hay. Our Lord Jesus Christ was born in a stable y'know."

Severiano Ballesteros is currently 8 over par, and Very under the weather.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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