Written by JASONL

Thursday, 28 August 2008

image for Department of Health closes Major League Baseball Stadium Dugouts

Outbreaks of bacterial and viral diseases have spurred the U.S. Public Health Service officials to close the dugouts in all Major League Baseball stadiums. Technician's retrieved samples of saliva- laden drinking cups, chewing gum and tobacco that were scraped from the dugout floors. A Hazmat special detail was later called in to take further samples of what appeared to be urine and feces.

Researchers from Atlanta's Center for Disease Control are asking anyone who has attended baseball games the last month or so and sat near the dugouts to report to the nearest hospital for evaluation.

Acting Surgeon General, Rear Admiral Steven K. Galson, M.D., M.P.H, will be issuing a report to the media of his growing concern regarding this issue.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more