Obafemi Martins To Become A Gymnast

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 18 August 2008

image for Obafemi Martins To Become A Gymnast
Newcastle players pathetic attempts at gymnastics

Obafemi Martins, the Newcastle United centre forward, revealed this morning that he is to compete as a gymnast in next year's World Championships, after his superb display of tumbling at Old Trafford yesterday.

Martins scored the opening goal in the Premiership match against Manchester United, and wheeled away, turning a cartwheel and a twisting backward flip somersault with a degree of difficulty of 6.7.

Martins executed the vault perfectly, and fans clapped wildly, thinking they were in Beijing, which they weren't. I just told you, they were in Manchester.

Nigerian-born Martins said he liked playing football, but that he didn't much care for Kevin Keegan, who doesn't place enough emphasis on vaults during training sessions. He now intends to spend less time on Newcastle's training ground, and more time on the mat doing tumbles.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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