Clare Balding voted racing's sycophant of the week

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 21 June 2008

image for Clare Balding voted racing's sycophant of the week
Clare Balding: bringing televised arselicking into disrepute

Royal Ascot - (Whoresracing Mess): Thoroughbred arse-licking found a new rancid crevice this week after TV sports presenter Clare Balding was voted into sycophancy's winners' enclosure for her unashamed etoilation of Dubai's Shaikh Mohammed McTomb-Raider's latest wifelet Princess Haya's-a-Kite of Jordan.

Balding, half-sister to top Irish trainer, Ballybollox-based Aidan McShergar O'Brien, managed to gush the silly little gold-digger's name no less than ten times an hour during this week's televised five day meeting in a feverish bout of shameless rampant merchandising.

Haya, 34, was recently inadvertently outed by the Hellfire Club Puppet Monarch's thoroughbred bloodsucking adviser John Warren as the CIA's top asset in the UAE.

The public clanger followed the exposure of a string of KGB/Mossad double agents in an internet betting scam linked to busted former UK top jockey Kieren Fallon.

Shaikh McTomb-Raider himself has long held the top Mossad post in the oil and gas-rich Arabian Emirate although many of his day-to-day espionage activities were ceded some years ago to his official whores trainer, ex-Dubai police nark Sayyed Bin Surour.

Lester Piggot is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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