Rio De Janeiro, Brazil - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): NYPD investigators are cock-a-hoop after a sting op in the Eliot Spitzer hooker agency probe netted Brazilian footballer and AC/DC Milan star striker Ronaldo.
The 31 year-old international had been partying in the Lonesome Cowboy Club in Rio's notoriously ambiguous Barrack da Tijuana red light district when he caught the eye of five luscious lovelies, out on the town and looking for frolics.
Six jeroboams of '96 Krug Grand Cuvee at $900 each later and the feisty five-a-side team accepted an offer to go back to Ronaldo's fabled Copacabana beachside condo.
In the words of the apartment block's night janitor, "a filthy row then broke out in the penthouse's private elevator," where the pride of Brazil's footballing hystery suddenly discovered his companions were all female.
"Imagine the horror, the tackiness and the eventual froideur of it all!" janitor Juan Bollzup told reporters.
Police soon arrived and broke up the brawl which began when Ronaldo realised he'd been tricked into thinking his hookers were all bona fide transvestites.
Subsequent investigations have shown that all five ladies of the night were in Brazil on secondment from the NY branch of Spitzer's Holy Roman Emperor VSOP agency following a lottery win during the Pope's visit to the US.
David Beckham is thick as a brick.
