Clubbers Maintain Winning Streak

Funny story written by Mr Intolerant

Monday, 21 April 2008

image for Clubbers Maintain Winning Streak
Once again the Seals offence gave up

The Newfoundland Clubbers this week stretched their unbeaten record against the Arctic Fur Seals this week with a dominant 220,000 to 4 win.

This brings the streak to a record 172 years or from the inception of the competition. Despite the dominance of the Clubbers over that time, the month long local derby still rates front page news across the globe.

The Clubbers captain, Frank "Blood Spatter" Himmler was ecstatic with the win. "The boys did a fantastic job, everyone chipped in and put in the hard yards, some of the work on the clubs was just artistic."

"It was a pity we couldn't keep a clean sheet against them but there is always next year."

Team skills coach, Dexter "The Butcher" Morgan was a little more circumspect on the result.

"We were really hoping to get up to the goal of 275,000 points but conditions went against us a little."

"The Baby Seals looked like they had a stronger lineup on paper this year but once we hit the ice it was the same old limp defence with almost no attack, it really was a bit of a slaughter."

The Artic Fur seals management were again dissapointed with the result with spokesperson, Fluffy "baby soft" Meatsack stating,

"It was an extremely troubling result, we thought we had them this year but again we just had no answer to the flying four by two's. I really dont want to say to much, it's pretty quiet back at HQ, it's almost as if there has been a death in the family."

Preparations are already underway for the 2009 with the seals investigating selective breeding to produce a wood resistant pelt.

Tickets and Hospitality packages for next year may be purchased from the Canadian Department of Fisheries and Oceans.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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