France cuts nuclear missile arsenal by a third

Funny story written by Andrew Woodfine

Friday, 21 March 2008

image for France cuts nuclear missile arsenal by a third
Core French defence strategy remains unchanged

President Sarkozy has announced France's stocks of air launched nuclear weapons is to be slashed in an effort to ensure the safety of Europe. In a speech to French defence chiefs Sarkozy hailed the plan as a major blow to the enemies of France and a huge contribution to the future security of the continent.

"Were hostilities to break out then in the inevitable event of speedly capitulation France would have gifted the invader enough air based nuclear firepower to wipe out most of Europe. Now the vast majority of our warheads will be on our submarines which can be safely rounded up by the Royal Navy and scuttled off the coast of Algeria. This would leave only a couple of dozen warheads for our general staff to eagerly hand over the launch codes for."

The President's remarks came at the launch of Le Terrible, France's forth nuclear missile submarine, which was named after it's build quality which suffered due to heated industrial disputes over workers being asked to work punishing 5 hour days to launch the boat on schedule.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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