The munters of Germany triumphed over the beauties from Brazil in the Womens World Cup in China yesterday, putting paid to hopes of an endless stream of raunchy photographs of the winners.
Photographers from all around the world had gathered in Shanghai to snap the dazzling loveliness of the South American belles, but, in the end, had to begrudgingly click their shutters over the German squad, who resembled a set of unlikely chancers in a Sunday morning pub team.
The Brazilians, who played in bikinis, delighted the crowds with their stunning good looks, and perfect tanned complexions, whilst their dogged opponents ground out the 2-0 result with their own inimitable style of football, Total Ugliness.
Sandra Smisek, who used to be a man, and Simone Laudehr, who still is, scored the goals, but it was the Brazilians the supporters had come to see, and as the Germans did a lap of dishonour, the Copacabana girls removed their skimpy coverings and prompted a pitch invasion by thousands of randy Chinese fans who had never seen proper tits before.
Brazillian coach Jorge Barcellos, who is the luckiest man in sport, said:
"We may have lost today, but the fans were the real winners of this tournament.
You'll have to excuse me, I'm going for a bath with the girls."
