Vigilant umpires prevent Pakistan's World Cup bid

Written by parveen liddy

Wednesday, 26 September 2007

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Bails: Team tried to screw 'em on

Pakistan's cricketers have admitted they lost the 20/20 World Cup final against India because the umpires stopped them from cheating.

The side has been associated with cricket's dark arts for several years from dishonest appeals to paying off umpires and ball tampering.

Batsman Younis Mohammed admitted last night that a clamp down by the officials in the competition effectively ended their chances in the final.

'We had wanted to secretly swap the ball on the field with one the size of a golf ball which would have been more difficult for the batmen to pick up,' he said.

'Unfortunately it was confiscated from one of the bowlers as he went on the field together with a catapult and large bag of sweets.

'During our innings we had tried to screw the bails to the top of the stumps but unfortunately the square leg umpire noticed the extension lead for the power tool running back into the pavilion so that didn't work either.'

Mohammed had also tried his own unique method pull the wool over the umpires eyes.

'I did not trim my beard for several weeks before the final and lay face down in a Gro-Bag every night so that my beard extended past my knees.

'I was hoping this would make LBW decisions difficult but it was spotted by the umpire and he trimmed it with a pair of garden shears borrowed from the head groundsman.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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