Written by Honest Lee

Monday, 6 August 2007

Ex England cricket captain Mike Gatting was spotted on a late night raid to the centre of the pitch at Trent Bridge last night.

"Fat Gat", who weighed 19 stone in his prime, has recently found his sweet tooth and, as well as the dozens of pies he devours daily, likes to break up his routine with bags of sugary delights. It appears that the stray jelly beans were too much of a draw for the big man who may have got himself a part time job at the same time.

Ivor Greenfield, head groundsman at Trent Bridge, said "I was going to put the roller on the wicket for tomorrow's game but after Mike had been there it was no longer necessary. He did very well and I had to offer him the job."

Mike was unavailable for comment, a waiter friend of his saying, "I've just served him his third roast chicken but come back in a couple of hours before he starts his main course."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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