Written by Kent Pete

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

image for Murray's wrist injury due to, 'One too many off the Oliver' admits star.
Murray not masterbating yesterday.

TheSpoof.com's sports news reporter Patrick O'Hearn is in New York for the US Open. He looks at how Andy Murray's wrist is holding up as he begins his favourite Slam.

It's the moment of truth for Andy Murray - and his wrist.

Judging by his demeanour around Flushing Meadows this week he is ready...no more than ready to play Grand Slam tennis again.

The 20-year-old Scot was forced out of the Hamburg Open in May after damaging a tendon in his wrist.

Wimbledon and the French Open were the first casualties.

Talking to our correspondent from his hotel balcony Murray said, "I suppose all the press back in England will be writing ridiculous stories about how I damaged my wrist. No doubt The Sun will be saying it happened through too much self love."

"Not at all Andy", our reporter replied. Somehow keeping a straight face he continued, "We are very much behind you back in the UK"

The charmless Scottish nerk continued, "Well I did get my repetitive strain injury through excessive masturbation but is that so wrong ? I'm 20 for Christ's sake not 50. Have you seen the New York women, they are amazing. The number of times I have had to keep an image fresh in my mind and run back to the hotel to knock one out, it's madness. Jennifer Aniston walked past yesterday."

When our correspondent suggested that perhaps if he had a stable girlfriend the wrist would have time to heal Murray simply turned his head away, giggled and returned to his room.

This was one story The Spoof didn't expect to uncover.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
87 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more