Evander Holyfield Wins Unanimous Decision on Comeback

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Sunday, 1 July 2007

image for Evander Holyfield Wins Unanimous Decision on Comeback
Holyfield laced on the gloves again in an attempt to regain the title

Former heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield won a unanimous ten round decision over opponent Lou Savarese to continue his comeback in boxing. Evander hopes to become heavyweight champ for a record fifth time and to unify all of the various and assundry fighting belts (WBF, WBC, IBF, IBC, IBM, etc.).

Holyfield easily out pointed his opponent through the fight and managed to produce two knockdowns. He also managed to keep what remains of his ears, even though Savarse did attempt to "Tyson" him.

"Hey," said Savarse, "Mike told me that he had really sweet ears and that I ought to try to get me a bite if I had the chance. He kept covering them up in the clinches, though, so I never could get me some. I even asked him before the fight if he could put some ketchup or steak sauce on them for me, but he wouldn't."

Evander hopes to become the oldest heavywieght boxing champion ever, passing George Foreman (who last won the title at the age of 72). If he does re-gain the belt, he plans to retire and sell products on the Home Shopping Network.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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