Written by THE MUSIC MAN

Sunday, 3 June 2007

image for Man Protests YMCA Track Meet
Whiner laying on the track yell at the crowd through a mega-phone.

(MUSICMAN PRESS) Saturday, a Houston man delayed a Y.M.C.A. track meet of two and a half hours.

"It just ain't right I say. I was never no good at that kinda stuff." Said Paul Whiner as he escorted to a squad car by members of the Houston Police.

A retired Houston Policeman gave the following statement. "This is just another one of those wack jobs we have to put up with. I'm just glad nobody got hurt 'cause of this fool."

Whiner was released yesterday after his cousin posted a three-hundred fifty dollar bail. We were later allowed to ask Whiner why he protested the meet. He said, "Well it just ain't right I tell ya, all these keds gots all theys could ever want and still all they do is ask. 'Mommy can I have a PS3. Daddy I wanna X-Box 360. Gimme a Nintendo Wii.' They are all spoilt rotten brats. Every dang one I tell ya. Shoot, all we had back in my day was sports and I wasn't even good at that. That's why I done what I done. If I can't PS3s and 360s and stuff in my childhood, then they can't have track in their childhoods."

Whiner has a court date on June 15, which he has already said he will not attend.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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