Raiders Select Angelina Jolie With Top Pick

Funny story written by Doug Burrell

Sunday, 29 April 2007

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The Oakland Raiders shocked the football world when they selected actress/humanitarian/mother Angelina Jolie as their top pick in the NFL draft. Raider's owner, Al Davis, said he fully expects Jolie to show up for training camp in August, although at this point, it's unclear what position she'll play.

"We don't really care where she plays," said Davis, "as long as we get to slap her ass after each play."

Jolie becomes the first female selected in an NFL draft. While women's groups lauded the pick, critics accused the Raiders of basing their choice on Jolie's looks and not her talent. But, Davis insists he chose Jolie for her football skills and not her sex appeal.

"That girl can flat out play," said Davis. "Hell, I didn't even know she was a woman, to be honest. Lots of men have breasts. How do I know?"

All 31 teams have reportedly contacted the Raiders about making a trade for Jolie. Speaking of the condition of anonymity, a source close to the Dallas Cowboy's organization says they offered the Raiders their entire offensive line for Jolie, plus their first round pick next season. Jolie could not be reached for comment

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