Hollywood - (Ass Mess): Jolie: the French word means pretty, as in pretty woman, pretty girl. But Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie is sitting far from pretty in health terms according to a celebrity gossip column which has stated unequivocably that the star is 'one sick woman' whose sudden weight loss, incontrollable shaking, fits of rage and blinding headaches are all part of a downward spiral into ignonimity.
The column says this may have been caused by a relentless dedication to self publicity, alcohol and cocaine.
"Jolie is literally losing her hair, shaking uncontrollably
and is totally dependent on prescription medication for headaches which are all avoidable on a total substance abuse abstinence regime," one columnist observed this week.
"She recently thought she had cinched her flagging movie career by zealous applications of botox and lip-filler as well as whoring for the UN as a global ambassador on children's issues," the columnist continued.
"But that particular bandwagon is so over-subscribed today by wannabe-somebody hasbeen starlets that her participation in it is demeaning serious child slavery issues instead of attracting positive support around the world.
"And giving her own kids dumb names isn't helping the matter one bit either."
The skeletal actress has denied she is suffering from anorexia and cannot get through a single day without vodka, cocaine and prescription pain killers.
But one look at her before a beautician's daily ministerings confirms worst suspicions in people's minds: something jolly deadly is going on inside the startlet.
Bradd Pitt is going ballistic.
