Ripken Reaches New Milestone

Funny story written by Doug Burrell

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Cal Ripken, "The Iron Man" of professional baseball who holds the record of playing in 2632 consecutive games, recently celebrated a new streak with his 2,000 consecutive day of retirement.

"It wasn't easy." commented an emotional Cal during a press conference, "There were many days when I almost had to work, but fortunately, I managed to avoid it and stay retired."

The official world record for consecutive days of retirement is 15,189 days which was set by a Kenyan man in 1978. Cal is on pace to break the streak in the year 2052.

"This is a marathon and everyone knows that Kenyans are good at marathons, but I'm the "Iron Man" when means I'm pretty good at marathons, too," noted Cal. (For the record, Cal has never run in a marathon.)

During the press conference, Cal also revealed that he has driven his car for 1,142 consecutive days, walked his dog every day for almost two years and watched every episode of "The Young and the Restless" since 1983, (16 years shy of the world record.)

To commemorate the occasion, the AARP presented Cal with a statue of a recliner which he says will sit in his front yard beside the rock he was given when he broke Lou Gherig's consecutive games streak.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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