Craig Bellamy, Welshman and Liverpool footballer, admitted today that his karaoke impression of the Three Stooges led him to wallop top team mate John Arne Riise over the head with a golf club causing substantial damages.
In a statement read by a Liverpool spokesman, Bellamy apologized, and said he regretted the karaoke fun getting out of hand.
"I was out of order, boyo. What with a big European match coming soon, mind, I thought it would be fun to crack a few heads open to get the lads singing. It was my new driver too."
Players complained that Bellamy had poked them in the eyes, kicked their shins, twisted their ears, and pulled their hair making some of them cry-and all because they wouldn't sing.
John Arne Riise was unavailable for comment last night, but club officials said no action would be taken against Bellamy because he wasn't worth the bother.
"We've tried everything, but basically er...everything's failed."
Next week in The Spoof, why Bellamy's Hitler karaoke didn't impress anyone.
