Major League Baseball To Ban The Practice of High-Fiving

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Monday, 9 March 2020

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Pretty soon fans at Yankee Stadium and every stadium in MLB will no longer see players high fiving each other.

NEW YORK CITY – The Coronavirus is now having an impact on the sports world. The commissioner of baseball, Robbie Manfred, said that MLB will be implementing a ban on the tradition of high-fiving.

The practice first started many years ago, when a second baseman for the Cleveland Indians hit a homerun, and, as the was rounding the bases, the third-base coach reached out and accidentally touched the player with his open palm.

After that, other players, coaches, managers, and even hot dog vendors jumped on the high-fiving bandwagon.

But Manny, as Commissioner Manfred is called by his wife, has said that those days will soon be long gone like the seemingly mile-long homeruns that steroid-taking Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, and Rafael Palmeiro used to hit.

Some of the players have said that, in lieu of high-fiving, they will simply “Butt Bump”, which will consist of the two individuals bumping each other's butts.

When told about this, the commissioner said, “I have no problem with the players butt bumping, just as long as they are both fully-clothed.”

IN CLOSING - Melania Trump confided to a close friend that she is getting very, very worried, because the other day she caught her husband brushing his teeth with a McDonald’s French Fry.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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